Indigestion, earrings, icing sugar and dreams

 Sorry for my post about water biscuits. Ignore it.

 There are several things I must tell you about this Christmas Eve:

Yesterday I suddenly got a mystery illness. I thought at first that it was just indigestion, but it got worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse. I thought I was going to vomit; I thought I was going to collapse. Then it went away again. I was going to post about it yesterday but
a) I was so exhausted that my arms were too floppy to type, and
b) the laptop crashed.

 I was also too tired to blow-dry my hair, so I went to sleep with it wet.
 If you have thick, frizzy hair like me then you might know what this means.
 If I don't comb it after I've slept with it wet, it looks horrendous. And if I do comb it, it puffs out like thistledown. What I did was I twisted it all up in a bun to hide it and then put in some dangly earrings shaped like little birds to detract attention away from my hair.

 The third thing I must talk about is YULE LOGS.
 Today we're having the promised day of shifting furniture and tidying up and worrying, but I'm not much help in this area so I made a yule log. I've mentioned before that whenever I cook something goes wrong. It was the icing sugar that did it this time. You know when you're making icing and you're thinking, hmm, it looks quite runny, so you put some icing sugar in and then you go, ah, it's too stiff now so you put some water in and you put some icing sugar in and you put some water in and... I tell you, it's a vicious circle of OVERCOMPENSATION.
 Have you ever tried to ice a yule log? It's quite difficult because you have to force the icing sugar to defy gravity and, even though the icing is indebted to you because it wouldn't EXIST if you hadn't made it, it NEVER DOES WHAT YOU WANT.

 I'm sorry. I think I'm still overtired.

 The other problem with chocolate butter icing is that is tastes so divine. I ate sinful amounts of it.

 When I'd done the icing I found an old, plastic decoration that is like a sign saying 'Merry Christmas', but it was quite small so I decided I needed a sprig of holly too. I stole my dad's shoes which happened to be by the back door, took some kitchen scissors and went out into the garden in the rain. (Why does it always rain on Christmas Eve? Does is rain on Christmas Eve where you come from? Or does it snow? Or do you live in Australia or something where Christmas is in summer?) Our holly tree is pretty sad and weedy but at least it's nearby. I cut a sprig of holly and came back inside to put it on the yule log. My little sister known as Small Person No#1 pootled in and said 'Are you going to put berries on it?' I was quite annoyed after going out in the rain so I asked her where I'd find berries.
 'On a bush?'
 'Which bush?'
 'Um.'

 Then I put it out in the utility room to set, because our fridge is full.

 I hope you enjoyed that essay on how I made a yule log.

 There was a large catastrophe at lunch time because WE RAN OUT OF WATER BISCUITS!

The other thing I wanted to write about is this: I seem to have a lot of dreams where people are in love with me.

 I've never had a boyfriend but my dreams seem happy to supply some.

•  Imaginary boy number 1 was called Jack and he worked on a farm. He followed me around until I went into the kitchen (?) and then he kissed me.
• Imaginary boy number 2 was a photographer and I was the model for his photoshoot. He was lovely. He gave me a gift which was a pair of shoes!
• Imaginary boy number 3 was Chinese, and someone told me that he liked me and I should go talk to him, and I did. We stood on a bridge and watched fish and butterflies.

What do these dreams mean? That I harbour secret attractions to shoes, farms and Chinese people?

 I don't mind talking to boys and I have quite a few guy friends but the only boy who's ever flirted with me was our resident playboy who would flirt with anything on two legs, including penguins. Oh and there was Tom but he was just pretending because people were watching us. Which doesn't make sense but I don't want to explain because I don't really want to think about Tom...

 You can ignore this post too if you want; I hope I haven't wasted too much of your time. It was quite long, wasn't it?

 I mentioned penguins once so you can have this picture of a penguin.

I'm such an awful photographer, aren't I? It's in the penguin pool at London Zoo.
 I hope your Christmas Eve is as fun as mine.